Friday’s Focus—A Note to a Friend

A truly personal “catching the tiger by the tail” moment in which I was simply the medium for the way this poem came through. This has been a week of transitions and moments of movement and movement and movement of people and events, all with a surprising softness in its unfolding. It’s almost as though the blocks and stop-gaps of the past few months’ energy is slowly exhaling her release and like a pebble thrown into the water, the circles are gently lapping outward ever wider. Borne to me early one morning, here is a poem called, A Note to a Friend:

Butterfly kisses and
Ladybug hugs.
Rainy day rainbows,
And fat, garden slugs.

With some tea in our cups,
We sit, you and I.
Two good friends…still…
All these years, by and bye.

We’ll talk of days past
And the hours to come;
Watch dragonflies and sparrows,
And maybe hear honeybees hum.

Neither distance nor years
Can keep us apart as dear friends.
All the magic’s still here,
Seen through a kaleidoscope lens.

Our cups, they’re now empty,
And the church bells, they chime.
This is not a good-bye
But rather, so long… ’till next time.

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#takingitdeeper

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Now.

Every single one of us.
Has something to say.
It’s not just a story.
It’s their story.
It’s your story.
It’s your time to tell it.
It’s your time to write it.
To draw it.
To sing it.
To be it.
Will you?
Or.
Will you let it remain.
In your mind.
In your soul.
As a thought.
As a desire.
As a dream.
Let’s make it so.
And be.
Who we have been.
Dreaming ourselves to be.

#taingitdeeper

Friday’s Focus—When Not Asking Is Louder Than Asking

Admit it—we don’t want to believe it but it’s true: The squeaky wheel gets the grease. I feel pretty confident to say that we’ve all seen this whether it’s with our coworkers or our own families. Sometimes the squeaks from these people are so loud that we tend to overlook those who seem content and quietly go along, not asking anyone for anything as they cruise through their days. BUT. What if they’re not as content as they seem to be? Not everyone asks for help when they need it or when they should. The reasons are as many as the colors in a 64 color Crayola box:

Not wanting to appear weak or helpless;
Not wanting pity;
Shame of not doing something perhaps they used to do;
Fear of ridicule;
A still-held belief in their own strength and abilities;
Feelings of unworthiness;
Fear of being judged.

And these are just the colors in the first row. Whatever an individual’s reason may be, it’s just as important to pay attention to what’s not being said and what’s not being asked as to what is actually articulated. Silence should not be an assumption that all is right with this person’s world. If offering the assistance is still met with hesitance, don’t give up at the first rebuff.

Some people are reticent about asking for help regarding their own needs and you may very well be one of them. If so, think about the reasons why you may not ask. Look back at the list above—do any of those reasons apply to you? If so, learn to be comfortable in your own discomfort and don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help, whether it’s with a personal problem or with a ride to the grocery store. No one is perfect and believe it or not, no one expects us to be except for the pressure we put on ourselves.

Sometimes people don’t realize that they need help because they’re so used to having to do things by themselves and so oftentimes it becomes more evident to family and friends when help is needed before it does to the individual. Today’s Friday Focus is really something that is an everyday Focus: Become aware of those around you and notice how actions can speak louder than words; how sometimes not asking for help is the same as if they shouted it from the rooftops.
No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main….
—John Donne, No Man Is An Island
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#takingitdeeper

Friday’s Focus—Saying, “I’m Sorry”

Admitting you were wrong about something and then telling the other person you’re sorry, doesn’t make you weak or any less of a person or less of “a man”.

It can be scary to reveal our mistakes and fess up to actions or spoken words that don’t show us in our best light.

But at the same time, that vulnerability can make you stronger and deepen your relationship with the other person. Don’t let pride or ego stand in the way of taking things deeper with another person, including yourself.

Have a great weekend!

An Afternoon Memory in the Making

The church bells ring while the priest absolves the sinners
and the pigeons explode upward in flight.

The sky empties just as quickly as feathers
settle back down amongst the sandals and crumbs.

Your eyes smile at me as you pour the wine.

I inhale the smell that is this place and this moment, and
I decide, that dandelions are flowers, too.

And That’s How It Started

Tell me about the first time
that
you climbed a tree
or ran a mile.

Tell me about the first time
you
rode a bike
or caught a ball.

Tell me about the one time
you
got caught in the rain
and a
stranger gave you his umbrella.

Tell me, again, about the time
he called when he said he would,
and then met you at the door with flowers.

Tell me.
Tell me this…
Tell me that…
Tell me these things,
and more.

And I will tell you, too.

We braided our stories over coffee and tea.

That is how it started. This is how we started.

Now as we sit across from each other,
steam rising from our mugs,
the words from our stories hang between us.

We have grown and settled to a place
that is comfortable and where speaking is not really needed.
Just a look or a gesture conveys
all we need to say.

The hours and years of the intimacy of all that I told you…

And all that you told me…
of the first time
that
you climbed a tree
or ran a mile….

Friday’s Focus— “I was JUST thinking of you!”

Is there someone you’ve been thinking about and haven’t heard from in a while? They might be thinking the same of you. Reach out and reconnect by giving that someone a call, email, or a simple, “Hey!” FB message.  You’ll both be glad you did!

Have a great weekend!
Keeping it light and singing LiLoLa [Live, Love, Laugh] all the way…

 

 

 

 

Dear Spring

Dear Spring,

Please, please come back. I miss you. When you left I know it was because Summer had come to town and you may have felt intimidated with all of her long sunny days and giving off heat so intense sometimes, she had the power to make the rest of us wear the skimpiest of clothes and sometimes even do nothing but just lie around basking in her light. Oh, but she is not you.

And yes, then Fall came wearing the most breathtaking colors. She is THE weather diva sashaying down earth’s runway wearing her colors of gold and red that no one else can carry off. But you know she only stays a short while, so you never have to worry about her. And again, she is not you.

But then there’s Mother Winter. Sometimes the cruelest one of all with her paralyzing ways. None of the others can compare with her ability to hold us down, keeping us hostage to warmer areas while she redesigns the landscape by making new snow mountains and hills by covering everything she sees. Yes, there are some who love her and dance with her in the storms and use her back to ski or sled down, but not me. She is definitely not you.

Spring, you are the only one for me. Yes, okay, I admit, there are some things about the others that I hold dear, but it is you whom I adore and just can’t wait to see again.

I keep thinking of the times when we used to walk in the park or go running and bike riding outside in the fresh air, and then the nights I would sleep with the window open, your rose and lilac perfume wafting through the window and tickling my dreams. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to smell and feel you now.

So come back dear Spring. I heard you were coming back to town in a few weeks and I am counting the days. It’s hard to believe you’ll be here soon when I hear Mother Winter will once again come visit my house. But I will keep the vision of green grass and budding trees in my heart and listen for the songbird singing your name.

I will be hear waiting, but please hurry because I can’t wait to see you again!

Love,

me

Friday’s Focus—Mirror, Mirror in Our Hearts

You don’t need to wait for Valentine’s Day to show the one you love how you feel. I recently had the most interesting and telling conversation with my husband that not only showed us a lot about each other but showed me some things about myself as well.

Sit with your loved one and tell them all of the things that you learned from them since you’ve been together. Remember it’s not about what you learned about them (their favorite color or sports team) but about what you learned from them (I learned to see that things aren’t always black and white; I’ve learned to be more flexible; I learned how to cook!).

It’s an incredible mirroring exercise that will show you so much about your relationship and at the same time be a mirror for yourself in bringing to light how much you may have grown and changed that you normally may not have been aware of.

You can do this with anyone special in your life–it doesn’t have to be just your spouse but can be extended to friends and other members of your family.

Have a great weekend!

Keeping it light and singing LiLoLa [Live, Love, Laugh] all the way…

Friday’s Focus—Today, and Today, and Today

Earlier this week, I learned of the sudden passing of someone I’ve known for many years. She was a beautiful young woman who always had a kind word and a smile for everyone she met. Many are still in disbelief over this unexpected loss and as those who knew her mourn her and the family she left behind, I can’t help but take stock.  It shouldn’t take someone’s death to shock the rest of us into living, and yet it does.

And so with that, today’s focus is a reminder to tell our loved ones how we feel each day and to put your energy into today. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Today.

It’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture as we go about our lives, but we are all connected and the world needs each one of us to show up and maybe for some of us, to step up.

What are you waiting for? I’m not.

Keeping it light and singing LiLoLa [Live, Love, Laugh] all the way…