Stumbling From Perfection

I don’t know very many people who are perfect. I don’t know any actually, but there are certainly a lot of us who put our face forward acting as if we were and thinking anything less is unworthy; even shameful. It’s from this place of striving for perfection of whom we think we should be—the perfect parent; perfect spouse; perfect child; perfect employee; perfect person—that one day, we will inevitably stumble.

And when we do and we reveal ourselves of the imperfections of being human, we either ask forgiveness or are asked to forgive. Is there a limit to the number of times we forgive? Do the numbers change when we ask for forgiveness of others instead of ourselves?

Some people say there is no number—you forgive as often as there are stars in the sky, and then there are people like my ex-husband who held steadfastly in the belief of three strikes and you’re out.

I’m not sure which is harder, forgiving someone else or forgiving ourselves. I think that we tend to be much harder on ourselves, allowing feelings of shame and degradation for not being “perfect” to cloak us into feeling unworthy and unloveable.

Perfection isn’t real, but forgiveness is.

In those moments when we fall out of who we think we should be into who we really are, in our various stages of sometimes awkward, sometimes raw humanness, learning as we go, we need to remember that underneath it all, in each one of us, there is always the connection of grace and divinity. And for that, there is nothing to ask forgiveness for.

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2 thoughts on “Stumbling From Perfection

  1. “always the connection of grace and divinity.” NICE!! When I first started reading this and you said you didn’t know any perfect people, I thought, “Wait! She forgot about me!” Ha. Yeah, I’ve spent a lifetime striving for perfection and it’s gotten me nothing but frustration. Now that I’m older and wiser, I’m comfortable with my imperfections….most of them anyway. You pose a really hard question about forgiveness: I really don’t know who it is harder to forgive, ourself or others. I find them equally tough. I’d like to say it’s harder to forgive myself. That would make me seem so much more decent. But truth be told, there are some people that I just flat out can’t forgive. Awful, I know. But true.
    Good post Renata. Very thought-provoking. ❤

    • It IS a hard question Michele. One I’ve been on both sides of the coin. Your not being able to forgive certain others is not awful. It’s just that much harder. For me, once I put myself in the other person’s situation and try to look at it from their eyes, I gain a deeper understanding of the why and it helps me to forgive, but believe me, it’s still difficult! Thanks for your thoughts my friend ❤

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